Happy Holidays with My Twinkling IV Pole

As we approach the holidays, my mind is flooded with memories of two Christmas trees that stand out above all the rest. Not because they were tall or boasted perfect branches or were immaculately decorated, but because they’re a reminder of all the blessings and miracles in my life and of the generosity and selflessness of others.  They remind me to be grateful for something as simple yet as miraculous as the ability to breathe.

The first tree was small and modest, quietly “doorbell ditched” on the front porch of a humble family as the culmination of an anonymous “12 Days of Christmas” my family was gifting them.  I was just a small girl, but imagining the happiness that beautiful tree would bring to that family was the most exhilarating feeling I had ever felt. The second tree is even more special to me this year because it was exactly 15 years ago at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles where our Christmas tree was my IV pole, wrapped and decorated with Christmas lights. My family and I were celebrating the realization of my anthem, “All I want for Christmas are two new lungs,” after my double lung transplant at age 16.  On Christmas Eve, we giddily watched the strand of IV Christmas lights twinkle as my parents, brothers, sister and brother-in law, all clustered around my hospital bed, clothed from head to toe in yellow sanitary gowns, gloves and masks -– trying to eat pizza.  It wasn’t about material gifts, it was about the gifts of life, love and family.  It was the happiest Christmas I had ever known.

Our happiness was made possible by two men truly loving their neighbor and unselfishly becoming the answer to many heartfelt prayers. At age 16, I was deathly ill due to cystic fibrosis. Cystic fibrosis is a genetic disease that mainly affects the lungs and pancreas of the individual.  Due to a defect in the sodium chloride channel, thick mucus is produced that clogs airways and leads to life-threatening infections which scar the lungs over time and kill lung tissue until there is no healthy lung tissue left.  Death in CF patients is usually caused by suffocation in spite of constantly breathing oxygen from a tank.

My health had steadily been declining since my freshman year of high school as I gradually took less and less classes until my junior year, when I was completely home-schooled and eventually bedridden.  Even as my health rapidly spiraled downward accompanied by constant 104-degree fevers, constant vomiting, no appetite, no energy to even stand in the shower (I had sponge baths instead), I was still in denial that I was dying.  I had told myself as I watched my older brother, Justin, at age 19, cheerfully endure these same challenges months before he passed away, that if my behavior ever mirrored his, then I would know I was dying.  I reminded myself of this, but I still couldn’t accept that death was what came next.  That was impossible.  I had always been so much healthier than Justin.  I wasn’t going to die at 16 due to cystic fibrosis.  The cure was going to be here.  But my parents knew differently, they knew a living lobar lung transplant was my only hope for survival.

After a series of miracles, too many to detail here (you can read about some of them here or ALL about them here), I was accepted for a living lobar lung transplant at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles. A living lobar transplant or living donor transplant is an alternative for individuals who will likely die while on the waiting list for a traditional transplant.  It involves the surgical removal of the right lower lobe from one living donor and the left lower lobe from a separate living donor, (everyone has five lobes total) and replacing the recipient’s diseased 5 lobes (which are completely removed) with these two new lobes.  The recipient now has a new set of lungs comprised of the donor’s two lobes. The first successful living donor lung transplant was celebrated in 1993 when a mother and father each donated a lobe to their dying 12-year-old daughter.  In 1999, my junior year of high school, the procedure was still quite rare and continues to be so today.

After hopeful testing to become my donors, none of my family members or extended family qualified.  My very life was at the complete mercy of the selflessness and courage of friends. Word quietly leaked out to friends that a donor was needed.  Within days, more than 30 individuals stepped forward and offered to undergo the difficult, painful surgery for me.  It is indescribable to express what it feels like when you are so helpless, can do nothing for yourself and angels steps forward and say, “l will do that for you,” which in this case translates to, “I will save your life.” After a series of tests and their own powerful witnesses to step forward, family friend Dr. Jim Davies and family friend and my church Bishop at the time, Graham Bullick, were accepted as my lung donors.

The night before surgery, my dad recorded in his journal: November 28, 1999:  I have talked to many doctors since being here about the procedure.  It will be a difficult few weeks but seeing Jennifer healthy, with energy, will be terrific.  She is so excited.  She is so remarkable.  She said if it were not for her family she would just as soon pass on.  She said, “Dad, I think this surgery will be fine, but if not, don’t be sad because I’ll still be fine.  I will either wake up with new lungs or wake up on the other side.  Both would be great.”  What great faith she has.  She said the transplant is too easy and wondered what future challenges she would need to face if this works! 

After a week of health ups and downs and many prayers on my behalf after surgery, my breathing tube was finally removed.  It was with no little reverence that I inhaled my first deep breath with my new lungs and crumbled into a puddle of tears.  My tears were the grateful realization I had new, healthy working lungs. I was going to have energy.  I was going to breathe easily. I was going to breathe deeply.  I wasn’t going to cough 24/7.  I was going to live.

A couple days later, my joy turned to extreme reverence and gratitude as I beheld my donors on the other side of my ICU glass window.  Although they were not allowed into my room, no walls could separate the love penetrating every inch of that hospital chamber.  The weight of their sacrifice became more real as I sat inhaling and exhaling with lobes from their lungs, all the while not feeling like I was breathing at all. As I gazed at their smiles through the glass, I was overcome with indescribable awe and tremendous gratitude at their sacrifice.  My donors had willingly teetered on the edge of mortality in order to rescue me from the brink of death.  I knew from that moment on, every joy I experience in this life, every new discovery, every smile, every hope for the future, simply every second, I would owe to them.

Today, having just celebrated my 15 year lung transplant anniversary on November 29th, 2014, I am grateful with every breath for all my donors have made possible in my life – from my very life – to graduating high school, graduating college, working multiple jobs, starting my own company Carlsbad Cravings and getting to cook and eat a lot, to traveling to exotic locations, living with 13 different roommates, forging lifelong friendships, being aunt to 20 nieces and nephews, continued daughter to my parents and sister to my brothers and sister, to being mommy to my squishy French Bulldog, Kiwi, to marrying the man of my dreams and getting to spend my cherished time with him. All made possible by Graham, Jim and an omnipotent Father in Heaven.  I can never thank them enough.

As I think back on these two special Christmases and Christmas trees,  I realize that we likely won’t have the chance to physically save someone’s life, but we do have the opportunity, whether we know it or not, to lift others emotionally and spiritually every single day through our small acts of love and kindness.  Giving to others, and being recipients of giving, changes everything. As Albert Einstein so eloquently stated, “Only a life lived for others is a life worth living.”

I’m so grateful for those who were willing to give their life for me, and for what it has taught me about honoring the reason for the season, and doing good for others.

To help spread the word about doing good, I have partnered with New York Life’s Keep Good Going Campaign.  You can visit their site for more uplifting and inspirational stories as well as share your own special Keep Good Going moments, experiences and photos.  You can also do good right now by tweeting your own holiday tradition or memory using #KeepGoodGoing and the hashtag #FeedingAMillion.  New York Life will donate 25 meals to Feeding America for every tweet with these hashtags! I would love to hear about what you are most thankful for this holiday season.  Leave a comment below for a chance to win a $50 VISA gift card and for a $50 donation in your name to Feeding America on behalf of BlogHer. (*Through 1/9/15, New York Life will donate $2.50 for each approved post, with a minimum of $25K & a maximum of $100K. 
See full terms and conditions at NewYorkLife.com/CelebratingGood. Find info about Feeding America at feedingamerica.org.)

I wish you all a very happy holiday season full of gratitude, love and loved ones and doing good for others!  To read more of my story and my source of hope and strength, click here.

 

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